The Past Month...

This has definitely been the craziest month. Ever. Aside from bringing a newborn home, we have been bogged down with doctor visits, trying to get used to life together, and everyone being sick! I will just start from the beginning. So, we all know now that Avery has a cleft lip/pallet. We had no idea what this would affect in terms of eating, sleeping, etc. Well, we came home from the hospital on Friday afternoon. Friday night was the scariest night that I think I will ever experience in my life. Tommy had taken Maddox to a basketball game so my mom and I could hang out before she had to leave the next day. After dinner, we were cleaning up in the kitchen and looked over at Avery in the bouncy seat. Her arms and legs were going crazy. It looked like she was fighting. I went over to her and she was blue. She wasn't breathing. I tried all I could to get her to breath but I was panicking. Luckily my mom was there. I called 911 while she worked on Avery. After suctioning out her nose and mouth my mom got her breathing. The paramedics came and Avery was struggling a little at first but continued to get much better. They suggested we go to the ER. We went.. not really knowing why... there was nothing they could do... I think WE knew why she stopped breathing but we were so shaken up we didn't know what else to do. We went to the ER and they did tests but found nothing. With her cleft pallet, when she has spit up and can come out of the mouth and nose. When I found her, she had a bunch of stuff dripping out of her nose. So.. I think all her airways got clogged up. They suggested we get an apnea machine so that if it happened again at night, we would know. We didn't get the machine until Sunday so Tommy and I took turns staying up making sure it didn't happen again. I love this machine :) I sleep so well at night knowing it will yell at me if something is wrong! Luckily, it has not happened again.
So, we went to meet the plastic surgeon and he told us what to expect over the next 15-18 years. Wow. He gave us a whole list of other specialists we need to see. First, we needed to do weekly weight checks with the pediatrician. Yep, we go in every week to get her weighed (and may I say she is chunking up pretty well.. about an ounce a day!). We have been in to see the feeding specialist twice. The first time was really hard. When we were still in the hospital the pediatrician said he didn't think she would be able to breastfeed. The lactation consultant thought she could. I really enjoyed breastfeeding with Maddox and the thought of not doing it with Avery broke my heart.. Specially since I knew we had a lot of challenges ahead and I was worried about not having that bonding experience with her. So, for the first week I tried. I tried so hard to breastfeed her. It took a VERY long time.. 45min-1hr for one feeding. And even then I knew she wasn't satisfied. So, the feeding specialist told me in her 25 years of doing what she does, she has never seen a cleft baby successfully breastfeed. I think I burst into tears right then. Luckily, being a mom herself, she totally understood. I was a wreck for the rest of the appointment. We talked about pumping and also that formula fed babies do just fine! I think it was hard because breastfeeding was all I knew and I loved it. Pumping.... UGH! I know it is important for her to get breastmilk for as long as possible. I HATE pumping. But I do it.  I am surprised I have done is for as long as I have (a whoppin 4 weeks). I got mastitis after the first 2 days of pumping and I wanted to be done right then. Anyway, I am taking it week by week.. we will see how long I go! The feeding specialist also told us the only bottles she should use until her pallet surgery are called the "special needs feeder". Its weird that I got sad that she wouldn't be using the same bottles that Maddox did but I was an emotional wreck and pretty much everything made me cry. These bottles are 20 bucks a bottle!.. Your not even paying for the bottle, your paying for the nipple and all the little parts! I was using the 2 the hospital gave us for the first 2 weeks. My family pulled together and helped us out a ton by buying us a bunch of bottles. This is all new to me.. pumping and feeding and HAND WASHING everything!! It has definitely taken some getting used to and it is sooo time consuming but I'm doing the best I can!
We have a bunch of other appointments scheduled.. ENT and the geneticist. We also have her first surgery scheduled for the end of April! I have mixed feelings... I am excited to get her lip fixed but not excited for the pain my little baby will be going through :(
Anyway, then when Avery was about 3 wks old we all got sick. Even Avery was extremely congested. I took her and Maddox to the doc cause Maddox was REALLY sick. Turns out he had RSV. The first thing the doctor said when he came into the exam room and heard Maddox cough was that I needed to isolate them from each other or Avery would end up in the hospital. (My first thought was how the heck am I going to be able to do this! I was SO emotionally exhausted.. It felt like we couldn't catch a break!) It is VERY hard taking care of a newborn and a very sick little boy when they cannot be anywhere near each other! That was a very trying week and a half. Luckily over the weekend we were able to get Tommy and Maddox into a hotel so that I could disinfect the house and relax a little. I am happy to say that we are all doing much better!
Amidst everything we have had to get used to and the trials we have had to over come this past month.. We have also been able to sneak some fun in...

Here is Tommy loving his TWO kids!

We have been very lucky so far. Maddox has shown no signs of jealousy or anything like that. All he ever says is how cute the baby is and how he loves his sister. :) I'm so grateful for our two precious kids!

Maddox and Avery snuggling in Maddox's bed...

Maddox trying to teach Avery the Texas Longhorns sign with her hands!

 When the boys were away at the hotel for the weekend, Avery and I made some yummy banana nut muffins. It got me excited for all the things we will enjoy doing together as a mother and daughter. I hope that we will have as good of a relationship as my mother and I have.

This last weekend we went to Sedona with our friends...

This is what Avery looked like for the whole trip!

We went to visit Montezumas Castle. 

Sedona... it was BEAUTIFUL! I want to go back and spend some more time there...

We were pretty exhausted when we got back.. Maddox has been falling asleep in some unusual places recently. Here he is asleep at the computer watching Cars.

I must brag about little Avery before I finish this extremely long post! She loves to sleep. Period. From the day she came home I have only had to wake up once a night to feed her. She doesn't even cry when she is hungary.. I just hear a bunch of sucking noises and I know its time to feed her. She slept through the night for the first time at 3.5weeks. and has done it once again since. I hope to make it a regular thing soon! She loves her swing and loves to be held. Every once in a while I can get away with letting her chill on the floor but she prefers to be swinging or being held. She is a pretty good baby... She can be fussy don't get me wrong but overall pretty easy. Anyway, this has been a very long post and duty calls so I'll wrap it up. I love being a mommy to Maddox and Avery. We have had a few challenges and a lot to get used to but I have found sooo much comfort in prayer. I am very lucky to have these two kiddos and Tommy has been so much help and very supportive. I love my life!